It’s Wednesday 8th October .
The alarm sounds at 5am uggggggghhhhh I think . Then my eyes open wide, I remember I am off to Portugal, to visit my old friend Danny K and the world he had built in Portugal.
Now this wasn’t a holiday for me , it’s time I needed to escape, leave the world I know behind.
I needed try to process the reality , that my tumour has potentially grown back and developed into a grade 3 astrocytoma .
I now had a 3 month anxious weight , to find out.
Life’s been hard at home struggling to cope with the news, I received whilst getting my results at Walton only a week ago .
My drive and positivity had gone, I had slipped into not leaving the house and resigning to the fact this is how my life would end.
I wished the time away, wasting my days.
“Could my tumour be growing back at a dangerous, higher grade, only 3 months after surgery????”
Samantha & Danny convinced me to go spend the week with him.
With money tight, dan paid for my flight and train .
I needed to go to try clear my head , in rainbow city.
Sam left me at John Lennon airport, hugged me goodbye , whispering you need this , sort your head out and come back stronger.
Sam is my absolute rock, but I think she needed me to go away, not only for me, but for her own sanity to.
In front of me , (as I am with her) we both put a brave face on , both wanting to stay strong for each other , show no signs of weakness, both knowing how hard we both have it.
This is our tumour, our cancer, our battle, not just mine.
We also needed to try keep life as normal …..
well as normal as you can, for the kids .
With me away I think she can relax, let her guard down and let it all in and then out. Knowing I wouldn’t be there to worry.
I flew the 2.30hrs to Lisbon. As always running into a couple of friends on the way.
Sam jokes that I always run into someone, anywhere in the world. But it’s a small world really.
After a quick brew with Paul & mark in Lisbon. I travelled into oriente followed by lunch and a walk around, killing 3 hrs.
It was a 3.5 hr train ride to Fundao. Where I wrote the first part of this .
As I pulled into the station , I was met by dan and his close family friend Michael.
Dan met me with his usual big grin, a big man hug, and I couldn’t help notice he was also sporting a pair, of his finest yoga pants!!!!!
We took the 30 minute drive into the mountains, into the world that he had created.
2 domes, an old ruined farm house and a double decker bus, sat on the 2 hector site , that was Rainbow city.
He had built an oasis of calm and tranquility, off the grid.
The place was built on the principles of being a raw vegan , health , happiness and equality.
On arrival I was met by a number of people staying within the site. All welcomed me with open arms .
I stayed in dome 2 and shared a bed with dan , not for the first time I may add…… While his faithfull Rottweiler noushka, sat guard at the foot of the bed.
The days usually started with the no alarms , you rise naturally , usually as the sun hits your face through the port holes in the dome.
Everyone usually awoke around about the same time.
You can hear people trying not to make a noise, as they go about there morning rituals.
We all then all Headed over to dome 1 , put some music on, drank green tea, & the healthiest of smoothies. We would chat and mingle ,before starting either yoga or weights, which alternated each day.
Being fairly new at yoga, I stayed at the back with Jamie , who informed me he was a beginner….. A beginner my ass…..
That would be like me saying to him I was a beginner at kickboxing, shall we stay at the back jump in the ring do a few rounds……..lol.
But as I settled with the music , incense burning , and looking at the breath taking views, I soon became lost in my thoughts and as I transitioned into the next position ,my thoughts turned to the gravity of the situation I was in and the reality which I had blocked out. Tears rolled down my face , as I dropped my guard removed my mask and finally let it all in.
I left the dome to clear my head .
I stood on the decking as the sun warmed my face from its beams.
Crystal blue skies were above my head and in front of me were views to die for. This couldn’t help but make me feel relaxed & calm.
As I sat there reflecting on the passed week and how dark I had let my thoughts get, a deer pranced out the wooded area, paused looked straight at me only briefly, before bounding off.
This was rainbow city, off the grid and back to nature.
My favourite place was a short scramble up a rock face . Jamie had placed a hammock at the top, surrounded by tree’s. From here you had views as far as the eyes could see. I felt on top of the world.
But it wasn’t just the scenery , sun , peacefulness that was helping straighten myself out. It was the like minded people also staying here.
Jamie & Katie –
Jamie king had a hell of a story behind him. He rode from England to Australia on a pedal cycle, taking 22 gruelling months.
The first place he went for a drink in oz, after finishing the mammoth voyage , he met Katie lomas and the rest is history.
Both had grown tired with the rat race at home and had left the world they new behind.
Katie had a well paid job and was content in life , but both needed to know if there was more to be being just content . So taking a huge , brave leap of faith. They left their jobs , sold up , gave possessions away ,bought a campervan called Lenny and were 3 weeks into their own voyage of discovery.
Katie was an excellent budding yoga instructor in the making , which was going to soon take her to India to progress her passion. I am sure there is a rom com film to made with this story. I loved spending time in their company a truly inspirational couple.
Follow their travels at http://www.teepeeornot.com
Mel is a true wonder , the current raw vegan head chef at rainbow , an excellent student of yoga following her guru mooji .
She was and still is, by far one of the happiest , free spirited people I have ever met. You couldn’t help but feel positive around her . She also took up a role as my therapist and well being guru…… lol.
I enjoyed our chats and deep conversations. She made me look at myself , my flaws and self reflect . Not always an easy thing to do ,or understand .
But everything she said and put to me, made complete sense.
I was fascinated by her story of discovery ,as only a year ago, she was a top model , living in London , travelling the world , red carpets , living a champagne lifestyle. A life most young girls dream of .
But this didn’t bring her happiness. Her journey took her all over the Far East and now she was sat assisting me on getting back on track, on the side of the mountain , wears no shoes, in yoga pants ……Was this FATE???
The list goes on, there are so many others who are of a similar story.
The lovely Becky & Andrea , who quit there jobs in London to travel to Portugal. Michael had left home in South Africa, had turned vegan and was a true gent. Amy & Louise both with their own story to tell, of how and why they ended up at rainbow city.
To this day all of them message me , send me new research and therapies .friends for life
As I left at the end of my 6 day voyage, 2 new lads arrived as strangers to all , but I am sure they will leave ,with new friends and a better outlook on life thanks to rainbow city crew.
On the side of a mountain , off the grid, back to nature this place really was. They sourced fresh drinking and cleaning water, from 1000 of meters below. Dan had drilled and built in a bore pump to access it .
Electric was generated from the sun, via solar panels.
Food was growing all around the site and when required, they sourced items locally.
I even took the odd hot shower, naked outside on the side of the mountain. With epic views it was quite a liberating feeling.
On the Friday, the whole of rainbow city did a 32hr water fast with me.
I didn’t ask them , nor would I expect any of them to participate in it.
But they had all decided before I arrived they would.
This is what it is like at rainbow , everyone in it together, helping to make a difference.
I found the fast easy. We trained and carried out building work.
I could of easily gone another 24 hrs . But I was away and wanted more of the girls, raw cakes.
The time flew by and it was soon Monday morning.
Dan and Melly dropped , myself and Amy off at fundao station.
I hugged them see you later, (not goodbye)and thanked them for getting me back on track.
Now I am sat on the train to Lisbon , my journey…well trip, nearly complete.
I leave here positive , cleansed , energised & no longer broken.
I was ready to face and fight what ever this nightmare has to throw at me…..
But sat here as I read this back , I hear the words of Mel in my head.
Is this a nightmare , should I keep referring to it as a nightmare,with this negative mindset fuelling the disease.
As without this situation, I wouldn’t of had so many positives , for example…meeting all these people and experiencing rainbow city at this moment in time.
Gaining a closer bond and ties to my mum, dad , sister,
the chance to potentially becoming debt free , with help from my family, this meant I could literally change my stars and follow a dream that I had when I was 16.
Was this meant to put me back on that path.
Most of all The chance to spend, so much time with my kids and wife.
I would work 12-14-16 hrs days and be to tired to do anything else.
I had began to Enjoy the simple things, such as walking my children to school.
My 9year old son, had told Sam, he felt he was finally getting to know his dad, as I was off all the time and I wasn’t so busy with work…. Reality check and I knife through the heart !!!!
Was this a nightmare situation, or had I been given the opportunity to reevaluate my life and change its course for the better.
Was this a nightmare or as crazy as it sounds…. Is this a wake up call my life needed ????????
Now this blog, my others and this site was originally called and named , The Unwinnable fight . I always referred to it as “my nightmare, my Unwinnable fight.”
But now, however high the odds get stacked against me , this is still winnable.
This is a fight I can win, I will win and I must win .
So that’s why you only known this blog as , Myjourney4survival.
This is my journey and I will survive.
Once I have beaten this, it’s time to stop fighting .
I have nothing left to prove , no bigger fight to face , it’s time to relax and enjoy my life with family and friends……..
There maybe no miracle cure or stories of patients who lived for 40 years, but why I couldn’t be the first, is that so outrageous to think ?????
I can’t thank Danny enough, my old mate since we were 17years old . Always there when the chips are down, a true warrior on the road of eternal happiness and sustainability .